India: The Hellbus


My fourth day in Udaipur was spent doing glorious beautiful wonderful nothing. Two weeks into my trip, and I was feeling exhausted. Heat and booze and a constant flurry of new faces and the ever-looming dread of food poisoning, which has ravaged literally every single person I’ve met bar me, all conspire to leave me absolutely knackered. I spent a half hour in the morning doing yoga on the rooftop with Sandeep, and then happily committed myself to a blissful day of fuck all. Continue reading

India: The Cleanest Lake in Rajasthan, Honest


I’m writing these a few days behind, so some days are a little trickier to recall. However, as far as memory serves, I spent most of my second morning in Udaipur doing very little, apart from nursing a hangover on the terrace. As time has gone on I’ve found exhaustion setting in; I’ve gotten lazier and lazier in the intense heat, and when you’re shattered in the first place, it quickly becomes a huge task to simply get up, get dressed, and leave the relative serenity of the hostel for the rapture of the streets. Continue reading

India: Elephants with Swords

In the morning I had breakfast on the terrace, sitting alone with my laptop to write. I’ve been smoking a lot in India purely because there’s a large amount of sitting around in the sun or gazing out at majestic views, and they go together nicely. I asked an Indian guy a few across for a cig, and he handed me one smiling. A few moments later he came over to me and introduced himself, and asked to join me. He told me his name was far too long for a western tongue to pronounce, and told me everybody called him Prax. Continue reading

India: Udaipur Chain Gang

Background-Website-FinalNext day was to be another transit day; a frustration given my limited time here. But then, I suppose that’s me viewing transit as a chore or wasted hours, and I suppose that really, I’m wrong; the key to enjoying every minute of life must surely be to view everything as an opportunity for new happiness. And so, although James and Jonas and I were smash packed onto a sweating local bus made entirely of screaming rust, we had an unforgettable ride. Continue reading

India: The Aloo Angels

Background-Website-FinalWoke up hungover again despite being in a booze free town because I am scum. Had breakfast with the new gang – Ellie, Jonas and the newly-revived James, who had recovered to the point where he was now able to go an hour without erupting out of both ends. At midday we headed out on what turned out to be my favourite day in this country so far. We went on a quest to find Aloo Baba. Continue reading

India: Rabies, Obviously

Background-Website-FinalIndia, man. Fucking India. I’m astonished.

I woke up around 10am and had breakfast on the roof terrace with Jonas and James, and met an English girl called Ellie. She’s been travelling for sixth months and it shows; she’s covered in scars and bruises with a wild story for every one of them. We spent an hour talking, then I set out into the town of Pushkar with Jonas – see, while Jonas had recovered from his stint with food poisoning, James had tagged in to the sickness ring, and was curled up on his bunk sweating and groaning. Continue reading

India: Madcap Transit


Today has been a transit day, mostly, but that’s not to say it hasn’t been silly fun. I got up at 10 and had eggs on toast for breakfast on the balcony and chatted to the Argentinian girls. Showered and dressed, and realised that the reason I’ve been having freezing cold showers for the past week is that the hot and cold taps have been put on the bloody wrong way around. Continue reading

India: The First of the Inevitable Near Death Experiences

Background-Website-FinalEvery day in this country is insane and the further I travel the more absurd it gets. I love it.

Dave has been in Delhi this whole time, doing god knows what, and he messaged me last night to say he’d be arriving in Jaipur at midnight. I left a note with Sid at reception for Dave, telling him hello and that if he tried waking me I would fucking shank him. I spoke to Sid in the morning and asked if Dave had arrived, and he said yes, four hours late, and that they smoked hash together sitting on the floor. I said yes, that sounds very much like Dave. Continue reading