Why I’m Voting For Labour

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This post has been created specifically for my family and friends, a select few of whom I will be sending it to prior to the election. The intention isn’t to be argumentative, or to be disruptive, not at all; I am writing this article because I passionately believe in Labour, and if the country goes to the polls tomorrow and I haven’t done everything in my power to gain votes for the party I believe in so strongly, I won’t forgive myself. So let’s get into it. Continue reading

On Jeremy Corbyn and Leadership

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This post is not travelling related, but listen: shut up. This post is about politics, it is about ideologies, and it is about bravery.

The UK will have a general election on the 8th of June. Current polls have Labour some 20 points behind the Tories. If nothing changes in the next six weeks, Labour are set to take a pasting, Corbyn will be savaged, and a triumphant Right will cheer the fall of left wing politics across the Western world. Because, you know, the idea of affordable housing and fair pay for nurses is fucking nightmarish. Continue reading

Racism in the UK

I’ve been unable to write for days, because I’ve been despairing at the news surrounding Britain, and I know I’m not alone. Whichever way you voted, it has been a dark few months for our nation. We’ve torn ourselves apart, and brought shame upon ourselves. Let’s get some pride back, not just as a nation but as a people. You can play this song while you read, if you like.

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UK Slang Lessons

If you’ve read any of my posts, you’ll probably have realised I’m from England. I know we have some odd phrases here in Blighty, so I’m going to try and explain some of the phrases I have previously peppered my writing with. Right, let’s get on with. In at the deep end…

Bugger: to bugger someone would mean sodomy… although bizarrely this is used by Brits all the time, even by little old ladies sipping cups of tea.

Bum: to bugger

Chin: to punch

Knob: a penis

Knob head: an insult used to insinuate that the person to which you a referring does in fact have a penis upon their forehead. Can be used equally in the middle of a furious argument, or as a greeting between friends

Chav: these enterprising young raconteurs:

Charver: a chav

Scally: a charver

Bloody: used in situations when it’s not quite cricket to say ‘fucking’

Not quite cricket: not okay

Getting on my wick: pissing me off

Fit: attractive. Kind of implies sexual desire. Don’t tell tell your parents/boss/the Queen that they look fit.

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Just an excuse to have a photo of Emilia Clarke here. Sigh.

Lush: very attractive

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A view can be lush. So can a person. A view can’t be fit, though. That’d be weird.

 

Bollocks: testes

Pissed off: angry

Pissed: drunk

Twatted: drunk

Arseholed: …drunk

Wank: to masturbate, or can be used as an adjective to mean something is crap, or naff.

Naff: crap, almost embarassingly crap. Especially used when something is very uncool. The Eurovision song contest is naff, for example. Donald Trump’s hair is naff also.

Wankered: not to be confused with wank, to be wankered means, surprise surprise, to be drunk.

I’m (they are) off my (their) tits: I’m drunk (or on drugs)

Fuming: furious

Chum: pal

Nowt (North England only): pronounced to rhyme with ‘about’, it means ‘nothing’. Used only in spoken conversation. Example:

“What are you doing later?”

“Nowt, shall we do something?”

Owt (North England only): anything – the opposite of nowt.

Div: idiot

That concludes today’s lesson, you pack of divs. Now I’m proper bored of spending all day doing nowt and it’s doing my head in, so I’m off to get off my tits. Ta ta, now!