The Berlin Diaries – The Mystical Pool of Neukölln

*It’s a dark, blustery evening. You lie in bed, but you cannot sleep. The only thing that will do, you decide, is a bedtime story from your favourite grandfather. You creep downstairs, your teddy grasped tight in your little palm. You enter my office timidly, and find me an old man, reclined in a rich leather armchair by a roaring fire, spectacles perched on the end of my nose. I am quietly perusing a large, ornate copy of Charles Darwin’s Origin of Species. I glance up with a start as you close the door behind you.*

Oh, hello my sweet grandchild! Didn’t hear you come in. It’s that time already, is it? Time for another story, ey? Well, you scamp, come hither and rest your arse upon my knee, and I will thrill you with tales of my youth in Berlin. Today’s story is set way back in 2017, on the 2nd of January. Continue reading

The Berlin Diaries – Thanksgiving

I’m English, which means I don’t celebrate Thanksgiving and don’t really know what it’s about. Hang on. Let’s educate ourselves. Right, you wait here, and I’m going to trek to the mystical land of Wikipedia in search of answers. If I’m not back in three paragraphs, assume I’ve failed my quest, give me an honorary funeral (Viking style, please), and move on with your life. Promise me, if I fail, you will try to learn to love again. Promise me you will find another blog filled with stupid drunken travelling stories. You promise? Okay. Here goes.

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The Berlin Diaries – All The Usual Debauchery

 

I’m skint as fuck, man. It’s the 20th of November today, and for the past two weeks I’ve lived off about 40 euros. I have 15 left to last until the 13th of December, or when I get paid for some freelance work a while back. Whichever comes first. Being skint is very, very boring. I’ve already paid my rent and I’ve bought enough food to last a couple of weeks, so I won’t die, but christ, there’s bugger all to do. If you want to interact with the world around you, you need money. If I want to see my friends, I can walk 5 miles across the city or pay for the U Bahn. Choices, choices. Continue reading