Just a little quick one – just for me, while it’s in my head, before I talk myself out of it and it hurries away. Back home in Leeds for the weekend – seeing both sides of the family. Staying at mum’s, where I spent most of 2023. Working again, teaching, in the bedroom where I spent most of 2023.
Continue readingMonth: May 2024
The Siege of Pugglemunt Pt 4 (musical number)
Chapter One
What? Don’t look at me like that. I’m the King, if I want to suddenly introduce chapters, that’s my prerogative and if you disagree then you can just – well, you’re not allowed to disagree so DON’T EVEN BOTHER THINKING ABOUT IT OR I’LL PACK YOU INTO A TREBUCHET AND SLING YOU INTO THE MOUNTAINS. It just makes sense to segment things a bit. Builds a sense of momentum, but at the same time, gives the readers a bit of a rest – a chance to go shuck a turnip or whatever the foisty masses like to do with their spare time. You know my peasants have the attention span of a gnat. Hang on did— did you write that down? No? Promise? Okay, good.
Continue readingThe Siege of Pugglement Pt 3 (weeeeeeee)
Nobody said anything for ages.
“Ideas, lads, ideas!” I said after a while. “Come on now. Have at me!”
Continue readingThe Siege of Pugglemunt Pt 2 (turning into more of a novel but whatever)
Right, now draw five little stars in a row to show that time has passed. Five– yes, stars. Stars. No that’s too big! What?! Are you out of your mind? When have you ever seen a piece of writing with five gargantuan stars all over it, you buffoon. I said little stars. You have to do them very small in the middle of the– oh for goodness sake give me the quill, I’ll do it.
* * * * * *
Bugger I did six. Alright alright, it’s harder than it looks. Take the damn quill.
Continue readingThe Siege of Pugglemunt Pt 1 (A Short-ish Story)
Let it be noted that this is dictation: I am not writing it. I say this to you in case my scribe – he is new – turns out be shit and gets something rong. It is not my fault: I am not at fault. Do you hear me! I am talking aloud as I walk and swerve and walk and swerve around the throne room.
Continue readingMaverick (Alternative Title: Danny Hackett and the Strangled Wang)
Almost fell to my knees in Waterstones the other day. The big one – Piccadilly Waterstones. Never been in it before. Went on my birthday. Four floors of books! Tens of thousands.
Continue readingMuch Ado
For weeks now I’ve had writer’s block and I just Googled how to get rid of it and it said you have to write shit on purpose. So here I go!
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