The Purloined Princess: Chapter Twenty Two

In Which I Am Comforted By A Pungent Friend

I spent the rest of the afternoon in a fog of grief-induced mania, periodically attempting to leap out of the moving cabbage in a bid to abandon society and ‘live with the animals’. I don’t remember saying this, but Selladore assures me I was gibbering for hours about my longing to integrate myself with the wolves that roam the forests of the Valley Road. In the end my companions grew weary of my escape attempts and strapped me to the roof of the carriage. I don’t know why they had to shackle me spread eagled across the rounded top of the cabbage instead of just tying me to the seat inside, but whatever.

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The Purloined Princess: Chapter Twenty One

In Which I Am Tormented By A Glistening Spirit

I awoke to yowling sunbeams and an absolute shag of a headache the next morning. I’d taken myself away for an early night after the brawl, but my companions had remained downstairs for some hours after, and as I lay awake on my straw mattress, held back from slumber by the lurching beat of heart, I listened to the laughter and songs and vague crashing sounds that drifted up from downstairs.

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The Purloined Princess: Chapter Eight

In Which Battle Breaks Out And I Get Ever So Slightly Carried Away

The cannonball burst through the ship’s hull sending splinters the size of bananas stinging through the air, pinged neatly through a bewildered crewmember’s torso, and came to rest in a collection of grain sacks. The newly disembowelled pirate glanced down at the gaping hole in his stomach, murmured something inconsequential, and collapsed backwards into a collection of pots and pans.

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A Sliver of Book, A Side of Chatter

Alright. Let us begin with:

The Siege of Pugglemunt, Chapter Seventeen: An Excerpt

They had crested the horizon: the view was clear from the Magic Tower. In one great, rippling, flesh-and-leather coloured mass, the dark horde was approaching from the west, moving fast across the fields surrounding Pugglemunt. Thin plumes of black smoke went up from every home and hovel they rode past. I was glad I’d given the order to summon all surrounding villagers to the keep. Actually, hang on a second—

“Quince, did I give the order to summon all surrounding villagers to the keep?”

“No, my liege.”

“Oh GOD. SHIT.”

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