Here’s a little trick to write better. Just start. Don’t worry about what’s gonna come out or where it’s headed or if it’s good or not, just start saying stuff and – look, here I go. Sometimes when I start writing I write the first thought that comes into my head. Sometimes it’s really pathetic things, or stupid things, or just bland. My teeth hurt. Wish I had darker hair on my legs. There’s a fly in my room and I want it dead – and then you just go from there.
Continue readingengland
At Home | Attention DOOFUS Disorder, Am I Right???
Should probably write something, if only to procrastinate editing the DAMN BOOK THAT’S TAKEN ME THREE YEARS TO MAKE GOOD. It still isn’t good – it’s amateur and passable at best. Why God?
Continue readingAt Home | The Big 3-0
Wag’wan.
Only got 30 minutes to write this before my next class starts. I’ve been working like a nutter for the last two months, teaching English, and on the side I’m trying to get my novel published – editing it, sending it to folks – and I’m also trying to get in shape, and I’m also trying to do social life stuff, and I’m also trying to eat a balanced healthy diet, and I’m also trying to get enough sleep, and—
Continue readingAt Home | A Charming New Vocation
Dear reader,
Since we last met, I have been reborn – reborn from the ashes of post-travel depression. Like a phoenix! A clumsy, somewhat dirty phoenix yes – but a phoenix!
I teach English now, part time. I teach it to people far away via ‘the internet’. Here: let me tell you all about it.
Continue readingWaiting for Passport
After seven and a half weeks, my new passport has arrived. It was meant to take three. This, of course, has been a spanner to all my slap-dashedly laid plans. Or rather, it’s been yet another spanner in the very long sequence of spanners that have continually found their way betwixt the gears of my fragile optimism.
But hey ho!
Continue readingTonight, On Hackett News
“Good evening, and welcome to Hackett News. I’m your host, Wilkie Poots.”
“With me tonight is our resident Dan Analyst, or Danalyst, Sandra Gurtle. Good evening, Sandra.”
“Good evening, Wilkie.”
“Tell me Sandra, how is Dan faring this week?”
“Oh, he’s all over the place like a nutter.”
Continue readingOn Tour with AK: Part 9
“Yo, it’s Ani fockin’ Klang here spittin’ flows, come around here imma break your nose, bitches love me when I play my shows, I’m fly as hell and everybody knows.”
“Very nice.”
“Okay your turn.”
“Sorry?”
“Your turn. Spit some bars.”
“No, I don’t think so. Not my style.”
“Oh come on.”
“Where would I even begin?”
“Just start talking. Then make it rhyme.”
“Right. Okay. So like iambic pentameter or?”
“Jesus boys, no. Don’t overthink it. Go.”
“Alright. Ahem. YO, YO, MY NAME IS DAN, AND I’M A MAN AND I HAVE A PLAN. I’M GONNA GO TO THE SHOP TODAY, AND IM GONNA BUY SOME BLOODY HAY. FOR MY HORSE! BECAUSE HE’S HUNGRY AND-”
“Okay.”
“What?”
“Maybe… maybe keep working on it.”
Continue readingBumblefree
Well well well, look who it is – back for more words of mine, you greedy grub you. Continue reading
Primal Screaming
it was tramlines festival in sheffield. we had been out all day, a big group of us, new friends and old friends running around together being half wits.
i was on a high, no drugs yet, just pure energy borne all from freedom and a can-do sunnyside upbeat demeanour, the sort that just pours out of you
when ya with ya mates. Continue reading
On Jeremy Corbyn and Leadership
This post is not travelling related, but listen: shut up. This post is about politics, it is about ideologies, and it is about bravery.
The UK will have a general election on the 8th of June. Current polls have Labour some 20 points behind the Tories. If nothing changes in the next six weeks, Labour are set to take a pasting, Corbyn will be savaged, and a triumphant Right will cheer the fall of left wing politics across the Western world. Because, you know, the idea of affordable housing and fair pay for nurses is fucking nightmarish. Continue reading