I’ve got holes in my shoes

And its autumn now so when I walk to work my socks get wet

I could buy more shoes but that’d cost money

And I don’t have too much of that.

I’m saving up because I love adventure

And I wanna see that world, now

Right now.

Not tomorrow, not next year;

Tomorrow is an infinite away.

I’ve been thinking about getting old a lot lately

And I hate to be a downer but I’m pretty much dreading it.

Call it a quarter life crisis,

Or whatever.

I’ve done so much with my life, but when I examine it at length

It doesn’t seem so impressive.

I’m not measuring myself against other people,

I’m measuring my quiet actuality against the idealised self I drew up in my dreams –

And there’s a chasm;

Expanding, contracting as the weeks go by. Sometimes I can’t even see the other side,

And then I feel lost.

And fake.

A failure.

Because when you’re young your head is filled up with such grandiose visions,

 

And I don’t think that’s a bad thing –

Unless they never come to fruition

And you feel like you missed the mark.

You loosed that one golden arrow;

The arrow of your youth, the only one you ever get;

The only barb in your celestial quiver.

And you take your shot and you miss your mark,

And your youth is gone

And you can’t reclaim it.

Man, that must be hard to bear.

And that’s why

That’s why

That’s why I’m scared;

My arrow is in flight.

I hope it hits.