Listen you, I’ve been making decisions. Big decisions! Too big sometimes – I keep nearly moving to Vietnam. But here are two things I have decided upon which are of a reasonable size.

One:

I’m going to add one of those little ‘buy me a coffee!’ button to the website. For ten years I’ve kept it totally free of ads and all that (largely because adverts in intrusive places vex me immensely), but given the state of the world these days, I thought it would be sensible to create some means by which people who have enjoyed my writing can, should they wish, throw a few doubloons in my direction. I feel a bit uneasy about this, of course – avid anti-consumerist that I am – but I figure that after ten years of written work and love poured into this site, adding a little button for optional doubloons isn’t exactly a scandal. At least I hope it’s not. Whatever! I’ll wrestle with that conundrum in my head rather than here. I don’t imagine it’s too fascinating to read.

Two:

I’m going to begin, chapter by chapter, publishing a book – here, on this site. I’ll add one or two chapters per week, right up to the end of the full, novel-length story. Isn’t that exciting?

Basically, I don’t think this particular book has any chance of getting published the traditional way. It’s too weird – too silly. But it seems a shame to leave it sitting forever in the drafts on my laptop. Might as well do something with it – might as well share it. I’m going to upload each chapter and make a nice little computer-generated image to give a bit of extra zest.

I wrote it when I was 24 years old – the first book I ever wrote. Reading it back now, there’s a lot I would have done differently – but whatever. It’s decent enough to share. To hell with it! I hereby present to you: