If you’ve read any of my posts, you’ll probably have realised I’m from England. I know we have some odd phrases here in Blighty, so I’m going to try and explain some of the phrases I have previously peppered my writing with. Right, let’s get on with. In at the deep end…
Bugger: to bugger someone would mean sodomy… although bizarrely this is used by Brits all the time, even by little old ladies sipping cups of tea.
Bum: to bugger
Chin: to punch
Knob: a penis
Knob head: an insult used to insinuate that the person to which you are referring does in fact have a penis upon their forehead. Can be used equally in the middle of a furious argument, or as a greeting between friends
Chav: these enterprising young raconteurs:
Charver: a chav
Scally: a charver
Bloody: used in situations when it’s not quite cricket to say ‘fucking’
Not quite cricket: not okay
Getting on my wick: pissing me off
Fit: attractive. Kind of implies sexual desire. Don’t tell tell your parents/boss/the Queen that they look fit.
Just an excuse to have a photo of Emilia Clarke here. Sigh.
Lush: very attractive
A view can be lush. So can a person. A view can’t be fit, though. That’d be weird.
Bollocks: testes
Pissed off: angry
Pissed: drunk
Twatted: drunk
Arseholed: …drunk
Wank: to masturbate, or can be used as an adjective to mean something is crap, or naff.
Naff: crap, almost embarrassingly crap. Especially used when something is very uncool. The Eurovision song contest is naff, for example. Donald Trump’s hair is naff also.
Wankered: not to be confused with wank, to be wankered means – surprise surprise – to be drunk.
I’m (they are) off my (their) tits: I’m drunk (or on drugs)
Fuming: furious
Chum: pal
Nowt (North England only): pronounced to rhyme with ‘about’, it means ‘nothing’. Used only in spoken conversation. Example:
“What are you doing later?”
“Nowt, shall we do something?”
Owt (North England only): anything – the opposite of nowt.
Div: idiot
That concludes today’s lesson, you pack of divs. Now I’m proper bored of spending all day doing nowt and it’s doing my head in, so I’m off to get off my tits. Ta ta, now!
